Sometimes a formula works because it is undeniably catchy; The Promise Hero’s Okay, Cool endorses this formula. Too bad there is absolutely no substance in this sugar-coated acoustic pop garbage. Trying their best Never Shout Never impression, this Cleveland, Ohio quartet is rather amateurish, bland, and redundant. Vocalist Bobby Vaughn, bassist Kevin Buchanan, guitarist Daniel Weiss, and drummer Dan Evans seem hell-bent on inducing cavities world-wide.

Okay, Cool begins with the horrendous “Fall,” a song played countless times, albeit with slight variations, at copious amount of high school talent shows across the United States and maybe even in Canada too. The lyrics are atrocious and seem to have come out of a 14-year-old’s diary. Vaughn croons, “I’ve been dreaming of you all night long” and his band mates repeat “long, long, long…” as if to add some sort of depth to this shallow excuse for a song. If the listener is not nauseated yet, “See You” will surely do the trick. 

What was The Promise Hero thinking? They could not possibly consider this song eligible to be heard by anyone other than their mothers. “No Matter What I Do” follows, offering the done-a-billion-times chord progression and continued preteen lyrics. And yet, this is the best song of the set, which is not saying not. “I met a girl the other day // she was so beautiful and new // she asked if I would want to spend some time and see what we could do.” Clearly, sophisticate rhyming is not their forte, but tried cliché is.

After the first three songs it is no wonder “Still Alone” is present and accounted for. The Promise Hero evidently had enough inspiration for another immature ditty about a girl. Then comes “All These Days” where, for a split second, it sounds as if the group is about to break into “The Little Drummer Boy.” Unfortunately for the listener, they do not. Instead, those still with ears attached to their head are forced to listen to yet another adolescent song about a girl. Truly, this band must have set out to record the same ghastly track six times.

Mercifully, Okay, Cool concludes with the worst lullaby in recent history. The lyrics from this song are so dreadful that there is absolutely no need to repeat them here. The only redeemable quality of Okay, Cool is that it is sixteen minutes long. If the guys are planning on making music like this for a living, they should consider heading to college instead.

*/*****

*This review was composed by Mike Meeze